Tue | May 21, 2019

Flair Topix: Side Pieces

Published:Monday | October 8, 2018 | 12:00 AM
Flair Topix
Flair Topix
Flair Topix
Flair Topix
Flair Topix

It was a rainy night on a roof overlooking the city. The topic lingering on the tip of everyone's tongues: side pieces. Sounds steamy, doesn't it? Well, now that I have your attention, welcome to Flair Topix, the beginning of a series of conversations about real issues that may be even considered to be taboo.

Weathering the pending torrential rains, guests gathered at Kingston's premium entertainment hub, 100 Hope Road, last Thursday night, to join in on the scintillating conversation. Up for discussion was this question: are side pieces becoming acceptable?

On the panel to lead the charge for evening's sultry proceedings were Financial Adviser Marlon Campbell, Psychologist Kamala McWhinney, and Communicator Devon Smith, and hosted by the lovely Dania Beckford. I was honoured to be a part of the panel as well; little did I know what I had signed up for.

"Side pieces are relationships' first-aid kits." Those were the descriptive words of Mr Smith. He went on to say that they provide relationship support. When things aren't going as smoothly at home, you turn to the streets to balance things out, so to speak.

They attributed the rise of side pieces, side chicks in particular, to social media. These days, women are posting body parts and watches of their 'secret' lovers for all to see, almost boasting about their temporary 'situationship'. I interjected by noting that in my previous relationship, I worked my way from the ground up, and since good men are so hard to find, I test the waters by sharing only pieces of him, just to see if any sharks would bite, a feet photo, a watch, a shoulder, a silhouette. He wasn't fully revealed to the public until he was the real deal. Beckford revealed that she does the opposite, putting his face out there from early, to save herself from potentially dating a player.

She kept it real throughout, chiming in as she took a stroll down memory lane. The now wifey stated that she, once upon a time, she played the humble role of a side piece. For years, she gave support, not only to him, but on a wider scale to his wife. She celebrated occasions and even bought him gifts. I explained that I, too, have done that in the past. The men, on the other hand, declared that was an absolute no-no, bringing up 'international side piece day' as the day before or after Valentine's day.

Beckford went on to say that she embraced the role, noting that she was only with him. But confessed that she realised that she had deep feelings for him only after the wife became pregnant. Now that took the talk to a whole new ball game: how do you avoid catching feelings?

Campbell recalled a time back in the day when it rained even sweeter than the Thursday, which encouraged him to snuggle up with female companion. After getting breakfast, he returned to a tidied room and drew the brakes, cutting that joyride then and there. The panel agreed that she crossed the line by cleaning, but that he had started that trend the moment he decided to cuddle, which might have given her incentive to take things a step further. He pointed out that some men 'catch feelings' quicker than women, getting jealous and possessive in the process, knowing very well that the woman is only their side piece.

Smith's method was simple. Side piece for him meant one formula only: sexual satisfaction. The buck stopped there. McWhinney established therefore that in order for side pieces to work, long term more so than short, there needs to be rules, guidelines and boundaries put in place. Honesty, she says, is also very important. Honesty among the parties actively involved, but also honesty with yourself. She does believe that something might be psychologically off with someone who pursues this role, as it directly correlates with self value and self worth. Persons, she argued feel down because they can't find a good man or woman and turn to cutting themselves or having suicidal thoughts. If they held themselves in higher regards, then they wouldn't need to settle for anything other than the one and only.

In the end, what was the consensus: are side pieces becoming acceptable? The answer across the board is yes. What are your views? Do you think side pieces are becoming acceptable? Share your answer with us at lifestyle@gleanerjm.com